Amidst the chaos

An impossible understanding

Shrouded in mystery

And yet, still calling

Like a bird in a dream

Waking us up to the most important thing in the world.

The pain stings
my heart open
I see too much!
I want to jump out of my body
bust out of my skin
Sparing darkness for darkness
this life is misery

I’m wrestling with the fact that
I’m still wrestling with myself.

We never find ourselves

We never arrive.

It’s never all behind us

We are never going to work it all out.

Let us never once think we are above it.

Inundated with to-do’s, bureaucracy blues
Head pounding, jaw clenching
Pages and pages of mindless BS
Who are you? The paper says
You are a CV, a list of schools
Honors and awards
You are not a divine spark of light
Of consciousness itself
Tired of needing to prove
Keep up, plan ahead
Fill out forms, check the boxes
I’ll be buried under a pile of papers
Where is God?

How else does one seek the genuine if not by breaking conformity?

Sell your soul for a pocket of gold

Money makes the world turn

Riches and fame

Sought many with shame

What matters? Who cares!

Nothing sacred, laid bare

Touch truth? We not dare

As much as I think things shouldn’t affect me, they do!

Be attached!

Attach, love, hate, rage, grieve, despair!

May every fiber of your being burn with passion

A hug is mocked, tears shamed
To have feelings is weak, so they say.
Love and compassion, are so passe
No one cares about your problems, they say. 

But sooner or later the Truth craves the light.
Loud and clear, we cannot deny
We can say thank you
Somehow I have known this Truth all along
But I was too frightened of its power
And refused to hear its promise.

Love and sadness meld

Through clenched eyes and throat.

Choked up tears and snotty nose

Can we be a perfect mess?

Show me the truth raw and unfiltered. I would rather an ugly truth than a safe lie.

What if I told you there was this one most important thing in life?
How would you sum it up?
The most important thing
That feeling in which we hold all of our pain, anguish, hardship, trauma
One which knows suffering all too well.
Who is confused, lonely, afraid
With understanding that compassion and love
Are the only way we can live with integrity.
That beauty, too, exists
In connection
Where tears flow toward the great beyond.

It is when we no longer need to do anything, that we can do what needs to be done

This whole absurd charade

This beautiful tragedy we call life

Boiled down to one precious moment

A moment of laughter tinged with sadness.

Where is God you say?

God is here

In the midst of suffering, he is closest

Shaking us out of our collective stupor

Not all will receive the message

But still the call continues:

Wake up! Wake up!

And so it is, that strangers can be more understanding than those who know us best.

You ignite the fear,

You fan the flames of trauma,

Everything catches fire.

Truth penetrates fear,

And out of silence

tears of sadness become tears of joy